Russian Prosecutors Probe Parasailing Donkey

I stared at the headline in disbelief.  This world offers up many strange things, I know.  You can’t be a nurse for any length of time before you run headfirst into the impossible, the insane, or at least the definitively ill advised.  But here we are, looking at the New York Times, a reasonably well respected journalistic outlet, reading that Russian Prosecutors Probe Parasailing Donkey.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/07/20/world/AP-EU-Russia-Parasailing-Donkey.html?hp

Somewhere, a Times editor is laughing his head off.  Not at the story, which is little more than a questionable marketing stunt that left a donkey dangling above the Azov sea, braying its displeasure as the waves crashed beneath its hooves for half an hour.

It’s the headline itself that’s funny – read it aloud to anyone at random, a colleague, a friend, a stranger on the street – and you’ll get at least a chuckle.  The words are so absurd – the juxtaposition of donkeys and parasailing so unexpected – that the only thing you can do is laugh.

Sometimes, you can’t make this stuff up!
That’s the beauty of humor.  You don’t have to BE funny to SEE funny.  A major part of the effort to integrate humor into your life on a more regular basis – whether you’re doing this as a way to manage stress, increase your physical and emotional health or just have more fun – is learning how to view the world through a selective lens, keeping our eyes open to the things that are (perhaps unintentionally) funny that pop up in everyday life.

There were countless headlines in the Times this week.  What went wrong in the Gulf? What is Goldman Sachs doing to the market now? Are academics seeing the end of the tenure tradition?  All important, worthy questions, worth considering.

But it’s just as important, just as essential for our souls, our well being, our ability to cope with a world of oil spills and investment bankers, that we consider other things as well.  Things that make us laugh.  Things that make our heart delight.  Things that are just too silly to be taken seriously.

When we see Russians Probing Parasailing Donkeys, that’s a gift from the universe – delivered, perhaps, via an editor’s twisted perspective.  Smile.  Laugh.  Give thanks you’re not a donkey.  Recognize the benefits that are part of your existence and go forth with a merry heart to share the joy. Ponder the existence of aviation goggles for donkeys, to be worn with a leather cap and a white scarf knotted around the neck and mane. You don’t have to be funny. You only have to see funny!

A Crude Awakening: What The BP Oil Spill Teaches Us About Humor

There’s absolutely nothing funny about the BP oil spill.  No one would argue that – yet people are still laughing. (For example, see BP Spills Coffee)  If there’s one lesson we can take away from this entire tragedy, it’s that humor can fill numerous roles, some of which aren’t immediately obvious.

Humor Provides a Framework for Processing Tragedy

“The oil spill is getting bad,” David Letterman said, “There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.”  Confronted with an environmental disaster of unimaginable scope, we reach for ways to make sense of it all.  Letterman’s joke captured the scale of the spill in an unexpected way – weaving in some social commentary guaranteed to get a laugh from his audience -  deftly informing and assuring his audience that the situation was indeed that bad.

In a similar vein, we see the quips about BP’s new bio-degradable oil collection system – aka known as pelicans. These jokes are undoubtedly in bad taste, yet they also allow people a way to give voice to one of their largest fears. Simply speaking about what we’re afraid of relieves stress, tension, and anxiety.

Humor as a Tool of Social Commentary

BP is a huge corporation, with tremendous financial resources and a legal team the likes of which few, if any, of us have.  This disparity makes it difficult to have a meaningful dialogue. Why would this huge organization listen to a lone individual? If you’re not already powerful in your own right – an elected official, for example, or a media figure – it can be very difficult to get the attention of BP, much less their response.

Unless, of course, you use humor. A deadly combination of razor sharp sarcasm and social media prowess, the BPGlobalPR Twitter feed is Leroy Stick’s parody of official BP communications.

If we’re being accused of being criminals, we want to be tried by a jury of our peers – wealthy execs who don’t give a damn #fairisfair

We are not killing animals in the gulf, we are creating fossils in the gulf. Have a little perspective #bpcares

The feed gained so much attention – in no small part because they are the perfect encapsulation of the public’s frustration and rage – that BP not only noticed, they took action to have the messages stopped.  Pressure from BP resulted in Twitter forcing Stick to disclose that it was not the official BP site, creating more controversy and broadening the conversation about the initial oil spill and BP’s response. Humor has been critical in engaging the community, and creating a platform for social discourse accessible to all.

Lessons Still To Learn

BP hasn’t  yet figured out how to stop the oil, and the lessons we have to learn about how mankind will respond to the crisis are still flowing fast and furious.  It’s a dynamic environment, and we see the use of humor changing as the situation develops. As a no-cost, ever adaptive, portable, always available resource, humor may be the most critical resource we have at our disposal.

Humor as a Cost-Effective Means of Stress Management

Humor as a Cost-Effective Means of Stress Management
Karyn Buxman, MSN, CSP, CPAE

(Originally published in Managing Employee Benefits , (1998).
Humor as a cost-effective means of stress management. Volume 6, Issue 2, pp. 74-78.)

U.S. workers consume 15 tons of aspirin a day. One in four workers suffers from an anxiety related illness. Soon job stress may be the #1 reason for worker’s compensation. “Terminal professionalism” seems to be a sign of the times. But taking oneself too seriously can have some unpleasant side effects.

WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress is the body’s response to any demand or pressure. These demands are called stressors. Stressors include major life events, such as death of a loved one or divorce. They entail chronic strains such as living in an abusive relationship. Stressors also consist of occasional strains, such as getting a flat tire in heavy traffic. (Source: Fact Sheet HE-2089, 11-91, Florida Cooperative Extension Service)

RESPONSE TO STRESS:
Stress requires the body to make adjustments physically, psychologically, socially and even spiritually to maintain the necessary balance for survival. Too much stress (distress) can manifest itself in a number of ways.

Psychologically, one who is experiencing stress may undergo increased anxiety and tension. Stress is also manifested in such ways as moodiness, irritability, inability to concentrate, crying, changes in eating patterns, changes in sleeping patterns, decreased libido, worrying, mood swings, frustration, nervousness, and depression. He or she may exhibit a negative attitude, low productivity, confusion, lack of creativity, lethargy, forgetfulness or boredom.

Socially, stress may be exhibited by isolating oneself from others, loneliness, or fewer contacts with friends.

Communication may be hampered due to preoccupation with stressful events or impeded by negative mood swings, such as lashing out at others, nagging or clamming up.

The physiology of stress affects all major body systems. Breathing tends to be more rapid but shallow, not allowing for full air exchange deep in the lungs. The heart rate quickens and is accompanied by an increase in blood pressure. The person may experience a feeling of their heart “racing” or “jumping out of the chest.” The circulatory system exhibits vasoconstriction with the blood supply being shifted to muscles and major organs. “Cold hands” are often an excellent indicator of one’s stress level.

During stressful events, an increase in epinephrine is seen via the sympathetic nervous system. The immune system becomes depressed resulting in an increased susceptibility to viral and bacterial infections. These can range from a minor cold to a major illness.
During a stressful experience, muscles become tense, preparing for the “Fight or Flight” response. A person may develop headaches or a variety of muscle aches, clenching of the jaws or grinding of the teeth, tight neck, shoulder and back muscles and clenched fists. As for the digestive system, the person may encounter a variety of symptoms ranging from cold sores around the mouth to nausea, vomiting and/or diarrhea.

Nearly everyone is aware of the rising costs of health care in this country. These increasing costs are an escalating burden on employers. The Wellness Councils of America found that the average cost of providing medical benefits for one employee in the United States in 1992 was approximately $4000. By the year 2000, this estimate
will balloon to nearly $12,000 per employee. These rising health care costs are cutting into the corporate bottom line. It is estimated that nearly 50 percent of corporate profits are devoured by employee health care costs. (Source: Healthy, Wealthy and Wise–Fundamentals of Workplace Health Promotion, Wellness Councils of America, Omaha, Nebraska, 1993)

Wellness and health promotion at the worksite has seen significant growth in recent years. Recent and long-term studies have shown that worksite health promotion programs have made an impact on significant decreases in health care costs. The good news is that humor is a cost effective and simple way to ward off many of the detrimental effects of stress.

WHAT IS HUMOR?
Humor is that which lends itself to laughing, smiling, or amusement. It is considered a positive emotion and may be used synonymously with a sense of joy. It has characteristics that make it a viable coping mechanism. That which appeals to one person’s sense of humor may be offensive to others. Everyone’s sense of humor is unique.

According to Dr. Vera Robinson, author of Humor and the Health Professions, there are three functions of humor: psychological, social, and communication. Psychologically, humor acts as a major healthy coping mechanism, relieving anxiety and tension. It serves as an outlet for hostility and anger, provides a healthy escape from reality, and lightens heaviness related to critical illness, trauma, disfigurement, and death. When employees are working on a job that is repetitive, humor can increase length of time on task by reducing tension and boredom. And studies show that humor doesn’t detract from tasks requiring increased concentration. Granted things can sometimes get out of hand. Therefore, it’s important to also have a high performance norm and high expectations of the staff.

Socially, humor lessens the hierarchy between individuals, establishes rapport, and decreases social distance. Humor solidifies a group. Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Workers that can share a laugh develop rapport. Much office humor is “inside” humor or “you had to be there” humor. While this kind of humor can make folks feel like part of the gang, it can also make others feel excluded. Be careful that this humor is used constructively, and not to shut out others.
As for communication, humor helps convey information. It opens the door for communication by allowing one to bring up a secretly serious subject to see how it will be received while providing an ‘out’ such as “I was only joking.” Humor gains and holds the listener’s attention. Over 80% of conflict results from problems with communication. Humor can help establish rapport and neutralize emotionally charged interpersonal events.

There are also physiological effects related to humor and laughter. For example, laughter increases respiratory activity and oxygen exchange. During “belly laughter,” air is inhaled deep into the lungs and forced out at high speeds. Smokers or those with respiratory conditions frequently experience coughing after laughter, continuing the good air exchange.

As for the cardiovascular system, laughter stimulates one’s heart rate and blood pressure followed by a relaxation phase that is accompanied by a decrease in both heart rate and blood pressure. According to Dr. William Fry, a leading researcher in the field of psychoneuroimmunology, laughter provides an excellent cardiovascular workout, which requires no special equipment and no limit to the number of times in which it can be used. (Source: “Physiology of Laughter” in Humor and Aging.) Laughter also produces vasodilatation, putting color and warmth into the face and hands.

In the immune system there is an increase in Immunoglobulin A, which fights upper respiratory tract insults and infections. There is also an increased spontaneous lymphocyte blastogenesis resulting in an increase in the number and activity of natural killer cells, which attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer cells and tumors. An increase in activated T cells (lymphocytes) is seen, as well as an increase in gamma interferon; an increase in Immunoglobulin G and Complement C. (Source: Humor & Health Journal 5, (5), “PNI Research Summary” p.6)

Other systems also demonstrate changes during humor and laughter. Muscles experience  a stimulation phase followed by a relaxation phase that results in decreased muscle tension, often resulting in diminished pain. In the sympathetic nervous system there is an increase in the production of catecholamines resulting in increased levels of alertness and memory, enhancing learning and creativity. There is also a measurable decrease in stress
hormones such as epinephrine and dopamine. Laughter stimulates both hemispheres of the brain at the same time, coordinating all the senses and producing a unique level of consciousness and a high level of brain processing. Internal organs are massaged resulting in increased peristalsis and improved digestion. Tears of laughter (and grief) provide an exocrine response, carrying away toxins found in cells under stress.

CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE HUMOR:
While nothing is black and white, humor can basically be categorized by that which is constructive and that which is destructive. Destructive humor lowers self-esteem, belittles others, excludes others, creates tension, stimulates laughter at someone, perpetuates a stereotype, creates
barriers, creates defensiveness, closes off creative thought, and focuses on negatives. Constructive humor raises self-esteem, is supportive, includes people, reduces tension, stimulates laughter with others, confronts stereotypic ideas, breaks down barriers, relaxes people, stimulates new ideas, and creates energy and a positive atmosphere. When promoting humor as a means of stress management, the emphasis should be on constructive humor.

Because everyone’s sense of humor is highly individualized, one does risk offending others when using humor. However, there are some basic guidelines to help reduce the risk. Dr. Christian Hageseth, author of The Laughing Place, suggests that there are four components to effective, positive humor: relationship, rapport, setting, and timing. When using humor with others, do they understand who you are and what relationship you have with them; such as employee/boss, teacher/student, parent/child/, staff/customer? Do they have a sense of rapport or a feeling of safety with you? As for setting, it’s important to remember that  anyone who can hear, see, or experience the humor is part of the setting, regardless of whether or not that person was an intended member of the audience. Timing is twofold. First there is the timing of humor in relationship to an event. At the peak of a crisis, humor will fall flat. While most humor is in some way associated with some type of pain, some time will have to elapse before it is found to be funny. The amount of time necessary is unique to each experience. Timing is also important in the communication of a humorous joke or story. The more it is practiced, the easier timing becomes.

TAKING ACTION:
Set the tone: If you’re in a position of leadership, give the staff permission to have fun. “Walk your talk.” Be willing to overcome the fear of foolishness. Don’t be afraid to look a little silly: a goofy hat, tie, button, socks, etc.

Set the environment: Humorous posters, memos, and signs can lighten the surroundings. Bulletin boards displaying cartoons, jokes, and funny notes don’t take a big investment but can provide an abundance of entertainment. Create a positive working atmosphere at the desks with toys such as Legos, Nerf guns, Silly Putty, Koosh balls and hula-hoops. Add some comic activities or theme days to the calendar. Encourage everyone to be
involved: management, various departments, volunteers, patients and family members. A M.A.S.H. day where everyone dresses up like the characters on the favorite television show by the same name, or a western theme where everyone dons cowboy boots and bandannas can lighten the atmosphere for staff and clients. A little competition between floors or departments might increase interest.

Set the pace: If you agree that humor in the workplace is a valuable idea, don’t delay taking action. No one is suggesting that management or staff attempts to be a stand-up comic or laugh constantly. What is suggested is that attempts are made to use humor routinely (see sidebar for additional ideas). Whatever forms of humor are chosen, it’s important to practice them on a regular basis. When humor happens by accident, there is much to gain. But there are too many benefits to let humor happen strictly by chance– make humor happen by choice, today.

GETTING STARTED!
Studies confirm that you gain many more benefits by being an active participant in humor rather than a passive observer. Here are some ideas that will put humor to work for you!
· Make a list of things that are fun for you and do one item daily
· See a movie of your choice (via theater or video, but popcorn either way)
· Have a marshmallow fight (you can eat the left over ammunition)
· Participate in a massage train (if you make a circle, no one gets left out)
· Take a joke break (these can be programmed into your computer)
· Practice standing ovations for yourself and co-workers
· Read something for enjoyment
· Write a silly limerick
· Send a humorous card (earn bonus points if for no special occasion)
· Leave a humorous message on your own answering machine
· Keep a humor file at your desk and refer to it daily
· Wear a funny button or pin
· Lighten up your work environment (cartoons/props/photos/toys/etc.)
· Can the Muzak for something fun and upbeat
· Plan a theme day (dress down day/wild west/beach day/etc.)
· Eat fun food (Snickers bars, Ho Hos, Cracker Jacks, etc.)
· Try your hand at juggling (scarves are the easiest to learn)
· Sing silly songs
· Buy your very own humorous prop, like a magic wand or goofy glasses
· Share your most embarrassing moment
· Start your day with 20 seconds of laughter (fake it till you make it)
· Hold a cartoon caption contest
· Have a good laugh– at yourself

FUNCTIONS OF HUMOR

PSYCHOLOGICAL: Acts as a major coping mechanism; relieves anxiety and tension, serves as outlet for hostility and anger, provides healthy escape from reality, and lightens heaviness related to critical illness, trauma, disfigurement, and death.

SOCIAL: Lessens the hierarchy between individuals, establishes rapport, and decreases social distance.

COMMUNICATION: Helps convey information; opens the door for communication by allowing one to bring up a secretly serious subject to see how it will be received while providing an ‘out’ such as “I was only joking.”

PHYSIOLOGY OF LAUGHTER

RESPIRATORY SYSTEM: Increases respiratory activity and oxygen exchange.

CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM: Stimulates heart rate and blood pressure followed by a relaxation phase; vasodilatation.

SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM: Increases production of catecholamines resulting in increased levels of alertness and memory, enhances learning and creativity.

IMMUNE SYSTEM: Immunoglobulin A found in significantly increased levels of saliva with stimulation of humor and laughter, increased spontaneous lymphocyte blastogenesis, a natural killer cell activity.

MUSCLE SYSTEM: Stimulates muscles and relaxes muscle tension, often resulting in diminished pain.

BRAIN: Laughter stimulates both hemispheres at the same time, coordinating all the senses and producing a unique level of consciousness and a high level of brain processing.

DIGESTIVE TRACT: Internal organs massaged resulting in increased peristalsis, improved digestion.

TEARS (of laughter and grief): Provides exocrine response, carrying away toxins found in cells under stress.

Anxiety or Excitement?

Answer: Pink slip… Bonus….

Question: What’s the difference between anxiety and excitement?

Seriously, though, what is the difference between being anxious and excited?

When you think about it, the two are closely related, but they differ by a degree of perspective. What is your mindset? Are you envisioning the situation you’re thinking about coming out with a positive outcome or with a negative outcome?

We know from studies that a little stress, sometimes known as eustress, can be a good thing. A little stress causes us to be alert, to be ready, to have our “game on.” To have absolutely no stress results in you being the equivalent of a puddle of protoplasm on the floor—no energy, no movement, static—not dynamic. No matter how tempting it may sound, it’s not really good to have no stress in your life!

Too much stress, however, clouds our thinking, muddles our memory, causes us to make dumb mistakes—not to mention, it just feels bad. Who can’t relate to tight shoulders, headaches, fatigue, mood swings, queasiness, and (I think I’ll stop—this is stressing me out just thinking about the symptoms!)

So how does one go about changing anxiety to excitement? I always recommend breathing for starters. You laugh, but I’m serious. So often, when we become anxious, our breath becomes shallow and more rapid—but not more effective. Stop and take a few deep breaths. (One of my audience participants told me she had a sign on her computer that read: Breathe, my dear!). If you really want to get some extra bang for your buck, laugh—out loud—from your belly. And, nope, it doesn’t even have to be a real laugh.  Sometimes, it’s okay to fake it.

Now take a look at how you’re framing the situation. Are you already certain that there’s going to be a negative outcome? Stop. Consciously focus on the potential positive outcomes of the situation. Come on, there’s got to be something good that will come out of the situation. Put on your exaggeration hat and be silly if need be—but find that positive outcome.

Let’s say, for example, you’re getting ready to take a test. You may be experiencing anxiety because you’re afraid you’re going to fail.  Stop. Focus on the likelihood that you’re going to pass with flying colors. And if you need to, become playful with your thinking. It doesn’t have to be rolling-on-the-floor-funny. Visualize the instructor with her shoes on the wrong feet, or with something stuck between her teeth, or whatever it takes to move you from a clenched-fist-posture to one of an inner smile.

Simply by taking some proactive steps to decrease your anxiety and increase your energy, you’ve already increased the likelihood that the outcome is gonna be great. And that’s no joke!

Mind if I Laugh?

Mind If I Laugh?
originally published  2007

Following the events of September 11, 2001 and the terrorism that ensued, I continued traveling around the country, addressing groups about the healing power of humor and laughter.  I heard a variety of comments:
“I really want to laugh, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
“I can’t bear to watch another news report—it’s sucking the life right out of me.”
“I feel like laughing, but I’m afraid other people will think I’m being inappropriate.  Is it really okay to laugh yet?”

Abraham Lincoln may have said it best: “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.”

Now more than ever, we, as individuals and as a country, need the healing power of humor and laughter to deal with the tragedies we experience.  Reports showed that the country is in poorer health overall than it was prior to September 11th.  Accompanying the levels of higher anxiety and stress are people suffering from a myriad of stress related illnesses and conditions: Headaches, stomachaches, general malaise, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, muscle aches, difficulty concentrating, depression, and the list goes on.

People find many ways to cope with their stress including unhealthy means, such as abuse of drugs, alcohol, food, sex and work among others.  A healthy person needs a variety of coping mechanisms at his disposal, as there is no single coping mechanism that will be right for every situation.  Humor should be one of the many tools one carries in his repertoire, as it is recognized as one of the healthy coping mechanisms we have available at our disposal.

Humor relieves anxiety and tension, serves as outlet for hostility and anger, and provides a healthy escape from reality.  It lightens heaviness related to critical illness, trauma, disfigurement, and death.  It comes as no surprise that many people are utilizing humor to deal with the trying times.  But is the humor timely?  Is it appropriate?

“When tragedy and death cloud our lives, they darken our humor as well.” (Karyn Buxman, This Won’t Hurt A Bit)

Much of the humor that saw after 9/11 is what has been referred to as gallows humor, dark humor or black humor.  In her book, Humor and the Health Professions, nurse researcher Vera Robinson explains, “(Black humor) is a humor that people have always used when they feel hopeless and helpless, when there is nothing we can do to change what has happened.  Black humor is a defense against the horror against whatever it is we fear and is a way to master it, and give us a sense of control by laughing at it.”

The truth is that we all experience tragedy on a variety of levels.  For some of us, it may be on a personal level.  At times, it may be on a community level.  And periodically we experience tragedy on a national or even global level.

On a personal scale
None of us will escape experiencing personal tragedy: Illness, accident, loss of job, divorce, or death in the family.  These painful ordeals can sometimes evoke humor that allows us to ventilate our frustrations about such unfair events in life.

Sometimes when we use humor to cope, others discourage us with comments about the inappropriate nature of the humor.  One patient told me that when making a joke about his cancer his daughter admonished him by saying, “Dad, you must not understand just how sick you are or you wouldn’t be cracking jokes about this.”

Author Allen Klein asked terminally ill patients about the use of humor and laughter during their illnesses.  Over three fourths of those surveyed said they wished their care providers and support persons would use more humor and not discourage them (the patients) from using humor.

On a community scale
Communities experience tragedies such as floods, earthquakes, fire, natural disasters, loss of industry or politicians caught in compromising situations.

1993 marked ‘The Flood of 500 Years’ on the Mississippi River. Communities along the entire river experienced flooding, destruction of property, loss of homes and jobs, and sometimes death.  Yet, humor marked the will of people to keep their spirits afloat, not to be oppressed and depressed by the Muddy Mississippi.  In Iowa the Des Moines Register held a contest, “I’m a Floody Mess,” where contestants tried to one-up one another with descriptions of their misery.  When the local water system failed as a result of the flood, and running water for drinking and bathing was no longer an option, one contestant wrote, “I smell so bad that my Sure deodorant is undecided.”

Following the 2007 fires in San Diego, in which almost half a million people were temporarily displaced and thousands lost their homes, healing and recovery once again were marked by signs of humor—sometimes literally. In front of one home which had been reduced to ashes, the owner posted a sign that said, “Fire Sale! Everything Must Go!”

On a national scale
Unfortunately we will witness events that have national ramifications, such as the Shuttle Challenger explosion, and even global ramifications, such as the loss of the World Trade Center in New York. With the technological advances in mass media, events that might once have been local tragedies now impact people near and far: The shootings at Columbine, the Oklahoma City bombing, Hurricane Katrina:  These events hit home through television, radio and print around an entire nation and beyond.

At times, the humor demonstrated after these events was a ‘hoping humor’, a “let’s hang in there together and we’ll get through this together” kind of humor.  The focus of the humor was more situational and unrelated to the tragedy; the humor was used as a relief mechanism from feelings of sadness and feeling overwhelmed.  One survivor of the Oklahoma City Bombing commented, “I laugh because I’m cried out.”

While we certainly see many examples of ‘hoping humor’ related to the tragedies of recent terrorism, we also see ‘coping humor’ or the humor that is used to express anger in a socially acceptable way.  By targeting humor at the ‘enemy’ or the oppressors, we are able to whittle them down in size and feel more powerful, more superior.

Some of the humor after 9/11 was grotesque, such as computer exercises allowing us to shoot Osama bin Laden in virtual games or blow up terrorists with a keystroke from the comfort of our own computer.  Some humor was less violent, yet still targeting our enemies.  An example is an e-mail forwarded to me:

“The nonviolent solution currently being circulated is to say to the Taliban:  Give us Osama bin Laden or we will take all of “your” women and send them to college.”

The Internet provides opportunities galore to express our frustration and disgust through games, cartoons, websites, jokes, discussion boards, chat rooms and e-mail targeting bin Laden, the Taliban and the like.

The challenge: What is stress relieving for some is stress producing for others.  While some find gallows humor to be a positive means of dealing with their stress, others find these expressions of humor to be salt rubbed into an already irritated wound.  What’s appropriate?  What’s not?  There is no clear-cut answer.  Gallows humor can be a positive means of coping with anxiety, but it helps if certain guidelines are followed:

Establish a bond: Gallows humor is less offensive when there is a bond between the initiator and receiver of the humor.  Often this is a type of ‘inside humor’ that is utilized within certain the boundaries of a certain group of people. There is an almost unspoken agreement: “I’ll not be offended by your sick humor if you agree not to be offended by mine.”

Be aware of the environment: The trick is to keep the humor within the confines of said group.  Once the dark humor escapes the confines of the group, it then may become hurtful.  Anyone who hears, sees or experiences the humor is part of the audience, whether you intended them to be or not.  Think twice before hitting the ‘forward’ key on an e-mail or blurting out a joke you just heard.  Will it be hurtful if unintended audience members intercept?

Be sensitive to the timing:  H. G. Wells once said, “The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.”  Generally it takes time for people to see any humor derived from pain or discomfort.  Some people never will.  Every person’s situation is unique and determined by their own set of circumstances and life experiences.

Despite its multiple benefits, humor is always risky business. Try as you may to be politically correct, there will almost always be someone waiting in the wings to be offended.  The humor or laughter provides an excuse for him to ventilate about an unspoken and deeper issue.  That being said, if you choose to use humor to cope with difficult times and are mindful of the feelings of others then, more than likely, most folks won’t mind if you laugh.  Indeed, they may welcome the respite.

Stress-Less Holidays! Tips to Survive and Thrive This Holiday Season

“Tis the season to be jolly,” but if you’re like a lot of folks this year, “Bah Humbug” may be a more fitting description of how you’re feeling. Stress is a surefire way put a damper on your holiday spirit. Stress doesn’t result just from bad things happening in your life. It’s a cumulative effect of all events—both good and bad. Here are 14 tips to help you decrease the hassle and increase the humor so you can survive and thrive this holiday season!

Do you really need to send all those holiday cards?  Be honest.  Many folks on your list are too busy to read your card and won’t remember a week later if you sent one or not.  Clean out your holiday database by at least 25%.

The holiday police will not arrest you for not having all your decorations up.  Remember less can be more.  If you spend less time putting decorations up you’ll have more time to sit back and enjoy.

Spending money can be exhilarating.  Paying the credit cards can be devastating.  Try providing gifts of service in addition to the traditional wrapped present.  The price is right, you won’t have to wait in line, and the giver and receiver will both enjoy it more.

Holiday parties tend to descend all at once.  Don’t feel obligated.  Go to those you really want to attend and regret the rest.  Can’t think of a good excuse?  Don’t give one.  If it’s a true friend, she won’t need one and if it’s not a good friend, he’s not going to believe you anyway!

Stuck in traffic?  Take this opportunity to reframe. Take a deep breath and visualize the person honking his horn driving in his underwear.  Imagine the look on his face when he unwraps a sack full of coal and rocks.  At all costs, keep your sense of humor!

Kids realize something that we have forgotten as adults: The power of play.  Don’t take the holidays so seriously that you have no time to sing, dance, play—even jump on your bed!  Make time to play everyday, even if it’s only for 30 minutes.

One of our best tools for stress is simply getting enough sleep.  Don’t fill every minute trying to cram in 101 more things.  Take a powernap so that you feel refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the day.

Smiles and laughs can diminish muscle tension.  They’re also contagious.  Practice wearing a smile to share with others and notice how their responses make you feel better, too.

Call your own voice mail to leave a humorous message that you can enjoy later. Bonus—you get to laugh twice: Once when you leave the message and again when you play it back.

Keep a file folder at your desk with clippings, cartoons, and e-mails you find entertaining. Pull it out and refer to it when you’re put on hold or when you feel those shoulders tightening.

Keep a book of word games, crossword puzzles, or cards at your desk.  Re-spark your creativity and energy by taking a daily 10 minute ‘play break’ and you’ll recognize how important it is not to wait until you feel better to play.  Play and then you’ll feel better.

Got a problem that’s bugging you?  Practice playing with your pain by asking yourself “How could this be worse?” Exaggerate the situation until you can make it absurd enough to put things in their proper perspective.

Gain maximum benefits by proactively seeking humor every day. Instead of assuming that there’s nothing funny happening in your life, slow down and pay attention. Change your perspective by asking “What (humor) am I missing?”

Try viewing the holiday season from a child’s mind’s eye.  We tend to see holidays in terms of tasks, costs, obligations, etc.  Kids still see the wonder, the magic, the possibilities…  Look at this holiday season from a child’s perspective and recapture the joy!

Traveling Barbie Creates Fun Corporate Culture

Times are tough economically, markets are down and customers are cranky—even angry! Taking care of the employees that have to deal with these customers, and taking steps to make the environment less stressful, makes for a healthier, happier, and more productive workforce. And taking care of employees is exactly what the folks at First Allied set out to do.

In preparation for my presentation on humor and stress management (I’ve Got One Nerve Left—and You’re Standing on It!), I first met with Blake Bjordahl, Sr. VP and Director of Operations and got a personal tour of the operations in San Diego. I was delighted to see evidence of many employees who took their jobs seriously and themselves lightly. Cubicles were decorated with pictures, cartoons, and even Legos, In one area, nicknamed “The Playground,” a bookcase contained numerous games, books and toys designed to help the staff de-stress. The vending machines were even subsidized so no one had to pay big bucks for their snacks!

Blake, and others at First Allied, grasp the importance of developing a corporate culture where employees play well together. A conscious effort is made to schedule activities where staff and their families can socialize, whether it’s a bar-b-que, a picnic, a softball game or some other fun activity. One of the great benefits of humor is the positive effect it has on bonding. People that play and socialize together develop much stronger senses of rapport. And stress levels definitely go down while people are having fun.

During my presentation, I gave the attendees strategic ways they can deal with stress by proactively using humor and laughter. After the presentation, it was my turn to get a lesson (I love that!).

A manager attending my session, Paula, introduced herself to me and to her Barbie Doll (see photo). This was no ordinary Barbie, as you’ll see by Paula’s explanation below!

“Years ago, I was going to Hawaii so someone gave me a Hawaii Ken doll for a Christmas gift.  Ken came along and had his picture taken everywhere we went and ended up with his own travel photo album.  In my current job, I travel a little bit and after my first trip I remembered Ken and his photo album and thought he might enjoy going on more trips.  I looked everywhere and couldn’t find him but I did discover that I had a Barbie doll (another gag gift from a co-worker) so she had to do.  My department is Business Strategies Group (BSG), so she quickly became BSG Barbie and accompanies me on all my trips.  She does whatever I do and I have an album of her working the conferences, attending some of the fun events, and enjoying my few moments of off-time by having her picture taken doing some relaxing things as well.  She has been to Atlanta, New York, Arizona, Nassau in the Bahamas, as well as working the conferences locally, and she’ll be going to Austin this month.

Of course, she worked/attended our national conference here in July and on the closing party aboard the USS Midway, she was kidnapped.  The kidnappers “borrowed” my camera for a short time that night and when I downloaded the pictures, I was shocked to see some pictures of Barbie I hadn’t taken myself.  I received a ransom note, got a “proof of life” picture, as well as a picture with a bag over her head so she couldn’t see her captors, a picture laying across a train track, and a picture depicting some heinous torture to her feet.  Ultimately, I had to pay a batch of homemade cookies to my team (they have no idea why the kidnappers would allow them to enjoy the ransom), leave the floor for 10 minutes, and she was returned with some new clothes.  The next team meeting we had at our local independent coffee shop (a weekly tradition), our favorite barista walked through the place with what looked like an address book, asking who had left it on the counter.  He brought it to me, opened it, and showed me a picture of Barbie that I had already been sent, but it was the first in a travel size photo album of Barbie’s trip on a cruise to Cabo and a trip to Colorado that the kidnappers had taken her on.”

Wow! Barbie is famous within the organization—and has enough frequent flyer miles to book her own trip to Vegas! Paula and her co-workers have demonstrated incredible creativity, ingenuity, team building and a positive work environment. What a marvelous example of constructive humor in the workplace. These are the kind of people you’d be lucky to have working for you!

Lead with Laughter!

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership.”
~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

The secret for effective humor in leadership is to set the tone for humor, while at the same time, set high expectations. Effective leaders understand that there are three primary benefits for using humor with their staff: Stress management, communication, and motivation.

Stress management
“Terminal professionalism” seems to be a sign of the times. But taking oneself too seriously can have some unpleasant side effects. According to a recent Gallup Poll approximately 1 million employees in the US miss work daily due to stress related conditions. Stressed out workers make costly mistakes; sometimes even deadly ones.

Humor is recognized as a healthy coping mechanism (as compared to unhealthy means, such as smoking, drinking, drugs, excessive work, etc). It is by no means the be-all-end-all. Today people need a variety of coping mechanisms to survive and thrive. Melodie Chenevert, author of S.T.A.T. explains, “Some days you need tools, some days you need weapons, but you need your sense of humor every day!”

Communication
Whether it’s in a classroom setting, a budget meeting, or one-on-one, humor can give leaders a serious advantage. Want to convey information? A humorous quote, a short joke, or even a cartoon—if you can get someone laughing, you can get them listening. Do you need to deal with an unpleasant situation?  Humor can relieve tension and provide a different perspective. Does your situation call for negotiation? Humor builds a sense of trust. Studies have shown that people who use humor are more likely to get what they’re negotiating for. The more relevant the humor, the more effective your communication will be.

Motivation
The primary reason a person becomes less productive or even leaves his position isn’t usually money. It’s because he’s unhappy. Making the work environment more pleasant and fun isn’t the only answer—but it helps; particularly when you’re dealing with Gen X and Gen Y, who often value pleasure over monetary compensation.

I once spoke for an upper management group in Chicago about humor in their company. They were so excited about the concept that they had me return 6 weeks later to address everyone from middle management down to maintenance and housekeeping. Imagine my surprise when I saw the following feedback on numerous evaluations: “This is great! I just wish my boss could have heard it.”

What’s wrong with this picture? While upper management claimed to approve of the use of humor, the message being conveyed was, “Beatings will continue until morale improves!” Companies with this mindset generally suffer high rates of turnover which can cost tens of thousands of dollars for each lost employee.

Lead with laughter

Set the tone:  If you’re in a position of leadership, give others permission to have fun. Walk the talk. Be willing to overcome the fear of foolishness. Creating positive change may involve stepping outside of your comfort zone.  Don’t be afraid to look a little silly: a goofy tie, button, socks, etc. When employees demonstrate the use of humor, give positive feedback or guidance, if necessary, but don’t punish them.

Set the environment: Humorous posters, memos, and signs can lighten the surroundings. Bulletin boards displaying cartoons, jokes, and funny notes don’t take a big investment but can provide an abundance of entertainment. Create a positive working atmosphere at the desks with toys such as Legos, Nerf guns, Silly Putty, Koosh balls and hula-hoops. Add some comic activities or theme days to the calendar. Encourage everyone to be involved. A little competition between units or departments may increase interest.

Set the pace: Don’t delay taking action. Be proactive and practice implementing humor on a regular basis. The more you use humor, the easier it becomes, the more benefits you’ll reap, and the more you’ll enjoy work and life.

Stress Busters

There’s no one coping mechanism that will work for every stressful occasions. People need a variety of skills to stay healthy. These could include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation just to name a few.  But the benefits of humor and laughter are so plentiful, so convenient, and so cost-effective that people would be foolish to leave these awesome coping tools out of their coping toolbox. 

Here are a few quick stress busters. Try one the next time your energy level drops and your attitude is sagging:
 
Call your own answering machine or voice mail to leave a humorous message that you can enjoy later. Bonus—you get to laugh twice: Once when you leave the message and again when you play it back.  (For example: “Just calling to remind you to be careful when you go by the post office to pick up stamps and be sure to wear clean underwear because you never know when you might be in an accident!”)

Keep a file folder at your desk with clippings, cartoons, and e-mails you find entertaining. Pull it out and refer to it when you’re put on hold or when you feel those shoulders tightening.
 
Keep a book of word games, crossword puzzles, or cards at your desk. Re-spark your creativity and energy by taking a daily 10-minute ‘play break’ and you’ll recognize how important it is not to wait until you feel better to play. Play and then you’ll feel better.
 
Got a problem that’s bugging you?  Practice playing with your pain by asking yourself “how could this be worse?” Exaggerate the situation until you can make it absurd enough to put things in their proper perspective.
 
Smiles and laughs can diminish muscle tension. They’re also contagious. Practice wearing a smile to share with others and notice how their responses make you feel better, too.
 
Gain maximum benefits by proactively seeking humor every day.