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Nonsense Makes The Heart Grow Fonder: How Humor Can Heat Up Your Love Life

“Treat your love life like it’s the ultimate romantic comedy; laugh a lot and kiss when the credits roll.”

- Gregory Godek, author 1001 Ways To Be Romantic

Stand-up comic Michael Elizondo sat in the doctor’s exam room waiting to be seen. When the doctor walked in, he was taken aback by her beauty. “Come here often?” he quipped. She laughed. And as they saying goes… they lived happily ever after.

When it comes to what we’re looking for in a mate, sense of humor ranks as a must-have by both sexes. That being said, men and women are looking for slightly different outcomes when it comes to sense of humor in a soul mate.

Women are looking for someone who will make them laugh. Men, on the other hand, are looking for someone to laugh at their jokes. According to numerous studies, guys who can make a woman laugh are seen as more attractive. And guys feel affirmed and appreciated by a woman who laughs at his jokes.

Humor and romance aren’t just for Valentine’s Day. The benefits are so delicious you’ll want to practice both of them all year long.

Humor strengthens relationships. Being able to laugh with your partner will help you better weather the bad times and enjoy the good times even more. Over time, your “inside humor” (humor that others simply wouldn’t understand but leaves the two of  you in stitches) will accumulate and help provide a bandwidth of resilience that will make your relationship even stronger and healthier.

Here are 10 tips on how to add humor to spice up your relationship:

  1. Watch something funny on TV that makes both of you laugh. (Sitcoms, movies, Youtube videos)
  2. Personalize a cartoon with his or her name and tape it to the bathroom mirror.
  3. Fix your partner something yummy—and make it look funny. (Despite what your mother may have told you, it’s okay to play with your food!)
  4. Recall memories that you’ve shared that had you doubled over in a fit of giggles.
  5. Make a date night at a comedy club.
  6. Write a funny message on the shower door with washable crayons.
  7. Try your hand at funny poetry. (Spiderman’s red. Aquaman’s blue. If I had a superpower—it would be loving you!)
  8. Read funny passages to one another from your favorite humorous authors—perhaps David Sedaris, Nora Ephron, Mark Twain, or Jenny Lawson.
  9. Share an embarrassing moment that you now find funny. (Hint: Showing vulnerability makes many a partner swoon.)
  10. Videotape a whimsical declaration of your love and send it via Snapchat or text.
  11. Humor and intimacy make for great chemistry. As a matter of fact, in a recent study referenced in Psychology Today, women who had partners with a great sense of humor reported more and stronger orgasms. (You could look it up.)

Karyn Buxman, neurohumorist, is the author of the book Lead with Levity: Strategic Humor for Leaders and creator of an 18 (or 30) day online program to help leaders authentically, consistently and strategically use humor to enhance communication, build resilience and boost engagement.

She can also be reached via:

[email protected]
Twitter: @KarynBuxman
Facebook: FB.com/KarynBuxmanSpeaks
LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/KarynBuxman
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